remember the 10 day beauty challenge? i was posting about it. . .
don't worry, i didn't stop doing it. (i want the free t shirt)
i just decided to stop posting my journal about it on my blog,
because
(a) there were things i was writing about and thinking about that were simply too person to put on this blog
(b) i don't think anyone really cared that much
(c) i'm secretly lazy and didn't want to post every freakin day about something that isn't super interesting to the general public

so i promise that i will start having a life (ha i spent 6 hours in the library today) and posting about something interesting.

10 Day Beauty Challenge. 2.

what are my spiritual gifts?

serenity
spirituality
discernment
compassionate
aware of other people
musical
giving
make people feel happy
faith
teacher
leadership


wow seeing this list i realize that i actually do have gifts. i have spent so much of my life comparing myself to others, trying to be like someone else, and attempting to live up to expectations that were never there to begin with. i never take the time to see what talents i have. this is definitely something i should do more often. or at least remember.

i definitely want to use my gifts to make the world a better place. that is what i have always wanted to do. it sounds cheesy but i want to "change the world." i hope i can figure out what i am supposed to do with my life in order to do so!

10 Day Beauty Challenge. 1.

meditation.

i would like to be here right now

it's hard to meditate at 12:49 am without falling asleep. i'm so exhausted that feeling any emotion besides tired is almost impossible. despite breathing deeply and closing my eyes, i am still discouraged, frustrated, even a little hopeless.
it has been a very long day.

but, back to kindness.
i felt tears pushing up behind my eyelids. a sensation in my chest- warmth.
gratitude for my body? i am grateful that it allows me to push it to the limit. i am grateful that it is healthy. i am grateful that i am alive. yes. i am grateful.

10. dots

“Ye are the light of the

world. A city that is set
on a hill cannot be hid.
Let your light so shine
before men, that they
may see your good
works, and glorify
your father which is
in heaven.”
-Matthew 5:14,16

dots. not the candy kind. gross. dots that cover us because we are willing to pick ourselves apart. label ourselves.

today was the final challenge for the 10 Day Inner Beauty Challenge. several hundred girls gathered upstairs in the wilk. we wrote our insecurities about our bodies on dots and then put them on our bodies. i felt embarrassed. ashamed. i didn't want anyone to see my weakness. but then i looked around at girls who i deem as "perfect" and saw that they too were covered in dots. after reading Max Lucado's "You are Special", the directors took us through 10 functions and parts of our bodies that we should appreciate and be grateful for. as each one was read we discarded a dot. by the end we were dot free. and we left, newly empowered, to spread the message of beauty.

we all wear dots. why? we have our own Carpenter who created and fashioned us- special. when we visit Him daily we don't need the dots of insecurity anymore. we let them drop carelessly by the way. His light fills us and we radiate it through our daily walk. we are free.

and we are beautiful.

9. pampered

“The most terrifying thing is
to accept oneself completely.”

today's challenge is to pamper your body- get a massage, go for a walk, do yoga, take a nap, get a pedicure, etc.

so instead of blogging i'm going to take a nappy nap.

peace out kids. see ya after some rejuvenation!

8. thoughts

“If you hear a voice within you saying,
You are not a painter,
then by all means paint and
that voice will be silenced.”
-Vincent Van Gogh

today's challenge was to pay attention to if our thoughts were positive or negative. building us up or tearing us down. today was a horrible day for me and i was thinking it was ironic that on a day where i had many many negative thoughts about myself that this would be the challenge. but then i got to thinking. my day had turned right side up. life that was previously stormy became sunny. and what i had done? only thought negative thoughts. then i realized. God loves us, even when we don't love ourselves! how can i be ungrateful when i really am blessed so much? even if my day hadn't turned out so great, would i really be off so badly? i may not know how to do physics perfectly. but the things i do know- Christ is our Savior, the Book of Mormon is true, God loves us, this church is true- will take me the farthest. i am grateful for the beauty i am able to find as i turn my life over to Christ and His will for me.

7. unplug

Only two percent of women

describe themselves as beautiful.

today's challenge was to tune out the media. so to do that i decided to limit my time on the internet, not listen to my ipod, and to only listen to good music. pretty easy since today is sunday and i usually do that anyways. i decided to "tune in" to nature- via the Alpine Loop. it actually helped me- but not in making me feel more beautiful. another way.
anyone who knows me knows what this last weekend was. i have been on the verge of a breakdown all day. i could barely keep the tears in. so when i got back to provo i suggested an afternoon drive up the loop. being out in nature, with my loving and awesome roommates, made me reflect on God's love, His mercy, and how He will always give us good things- even if we have to wait. I need to be more patient. But I also have to work. I can't just sit around waiting for good things to happen to me. I am so grateful for this beautiful world we have.

6. fatty

“Beauty is simply reality
seen with the eyes of love.”

today's challenge was to go the whole day without saying or thinking anything negative about our bodies. in other words- no fat thoughts. i'm fairly good at this. i believe i only slipped up once.
i think this is a really vital characteristic to create- being positive about your physical appearance. last spring i really struggled with my body image. i felt like i was fat and ugly. it was a horrible time. and no one knew about it. i let myself give into negative thoughts which led to unhealthy eating habits which made me feel even worse about myself. this summer i had to do major work to turn myself around. it was a physical and spiritual process. i turned to the Lord and asked for His help in improving myself in this area. so now i feel pretty good about myself. as long as i am working out, eating healthy, praying, reading my scriptures, and getting sleep, i feel great. i hate to hear my friends (or anyone else) say negative things about their bodies! we are God's daughters! He loves us! He thinks we're beautiful- and, really, who else matters?

4. exercise

“When you look closely, people

are so strange and so complicated
that they're actually beautiful.”

today's challenge was to participate in some kind of exercise that you usually don't do because it makes you feel bad about your body. well the only exercise that lumps into those categories are sports like softball, lacrosse, or basketball. therefore i didn't do the challenge. but i thought about it. that counts right?

however, reflecting on exercise. it's great. in order to express my feelings on the subject i must resort to one of my favorite movie quotes: "Exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy. Happy people just don't shoot their husbands, they just don't."

(:

4. meditation

“If you dwell on the things

you’re not, you’ll miss out on
the things you really are.”

today's challenge was to use the same amount of time we use to get ready in the morning to meditate, serve, write in our journals, etc. i decided to look up quotes on beauty. here is one that made me think: "That which is striking and beautiful is not always good, but that which is good is always beautiful" (Ninon de L'Encles).
there is so much in the world that is considered beautiful. but is it good? not necessarily. real beauty is good. some beautiful things i have seen and experienced in the past little while are:

• my roommate and friend opening their mission calls- those who serve the Lord really are beautiful!
• my brother's wedding- the temple makes people beautiful. the temple and keeping covenants
• you know who is one of the most beautiful people i know? my grandma. and she is also one of the most good people i know. in fact, the people i look up to the most are also the people i think are most beautiful. wanna know who else is so beautiful? Mother Teresa.
• little children are always beautiful- because they are innocent and so Christlike

true beauty comes from the heart. it is an expression of who we are- of what is in our soul.

keep your heart beautiful :)

3. lists

“Pretty is something you're born
with. But beautiful, that's an equal
opportunity adjective.”

we need to learn to appreciate who we are- inside and out. the challenge today was to make two lists- one with things we like about ourselves (not physical) and the other about what we liked about our physical appearance. here are a few things i put on my lists. list

1. things i like about me
i am a good letter writer
sometimes i'm pretty funny (at least i think so)
i am a clean person
i have a testimony

list 2. things i like about my body
i have good skin
my eyes are green!
i like my height
i have nice toenails (don't laugh please)
interestingly i had the same difficulty with writing both lists. what does this say about me???

day #2- beautiful to Him

“I testify that no one of us is less treasured or
cherished of God than another. I testify that
He loves each of usinsecurities, anxieties,
selfimage, and all. He doesn’t measure our
talents or our looks;...He cheers on every runner,
calling out that the race is against sin, not
against each other.”
-Elder Jeffrey R. Holland

what does the Lord consider to be beautiful? do you think that the Lord would create anything that he did not see as "good"? if you can see the beauty of the world around you, then can you imagine that the same God who created such beauty of nature would ever just throw something together that was not beautiful? God does not make mistakes! everything that is lovely, praiseworthy, of good report, or virtuous is of Him. so therefore as His daughters we must also fall in that category.
"happiness is the most attractive accessory a young women can have"
being happy, cheerful and optimistic adds a glow to every person's countenance. some of the most beautiful people i know are also the happiest people i know. they find the sunny side of life, and they stay there. they seek for the sunshine. they smile. i vow to smile more; to look on the sunny side of life; and become a more optimistic person.
why is it so hard for lds women to grasp the idea of "eternal" beauty? look around us- we are inundated in a culture that has, for centuries, objectified women. we feel that in order to be appreciated by men, and women, that we have to apply gobs of make-up, wear designer clothes, wax every month, and have perfect skin- not to mention being a size 0. i think that they only way we can defy this culture is by bringing ourselves to Christ and letting Him show us how we are beautiful to Him.

day #1

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure...
We ask ourselves: ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous,
talented, and famous? Actually, who are you
not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small
does not serve the world.”
-as quoted by Nelson Mandela

day one: write in your journal for 10 minutes, expressing gratitude for the things your body allows you to do. also, don't weigh yourself the entire challenge. (this should be fairly easy since we don't have a scale in our apartment and i'm not about to go out of my way to weigh myself.)
so why am i grateful for my body?
my legs- what would i do if i couldn't walk? or run? or dance? my life would be so incomplete. having had friends who could not walk i am so much more grateful for these two little legs of mine.
body systems- after taking anatomy last semester i gained such an appreciation for all the systems of the body, from the nervous to the digestive! when you study the body how can you not realize that we are created in the image of divine being?
truly i am grateful for every part of my body! it is so amazing!

speaking of beautiful- fall is beautiful!

10 Day Inner Beauty Challenge

How many of us have felt insecure? Ugly? Fat? Had a bad hair day?
I say yes to all of the above.

for the next 10 days I will be participating in an "Inner Beauty Challenge." each day we have a challenge which will help us increase our inner beauty and appreciate more what God has given us and His daughters. I am excited to participate!

I invite you along these next ten days and I share my thoughts and relate my experiences with each challenge.

after all: what is true beauty?