perhaps you remember the post i wrote on honesty back in the summertime? it is something i thought about a lot. however, i discovered that if you don't start practicing honesty and open communication, then it gets really hard to actually be honest in a tight situation. so yesterday i was faced with a choice- to be honest and possibly lose something that i hold very dear, or to continue to hide my true feelings and face getting hurt more later on.
i chose to be honest.
i'm not eloquent in terms of speaking. i fumble and trip over my words. i feel like what i'm saying isn't making sense.
but when you speak from the heart, it doesn't matter what you say, but what matters is that you mean what you say.
what i did yesterday is definitely one of the hardest things i have ever done. it's always scary to put your soul on the line. being honest means that you willingly put your feelings into someone else's hands and they choose what to do with what you say. but then you have to move on.
doing dishes helps.
sometime this will all be something in the past. something that i learned from and that made me a better person. it made me stronger. but i think it's ok to be sad for a while. because loss always hurts. and pain is real. but i am also moving on. i am free for something better in the future.