joy as exceeding as is your pain

yesterday i felt like i was doing good and then i got upset again and wrote a really long (unpublished) post in defense of myself. then i went home and went to institute. fully planning on still harboring some resentment and probably publishing that post later that evening. 

it didn't happen.

and thank goodness for that.

at institute Pres. and Sister Samuelin talked about how the Atonement applies in Eternal Marriage and how we have to overcome the Natural Man to reach our fill potential in Eternal Marriage. one thing that stuck out to me was that eventually, no matter what hardships we are going through, we will have joy as exceeding as was our pain. despite sin, mistakes, guilt and trials, the Atonement makes it all right and we are given joy! another thing that i learned is that selfishness is the root of so many of my problems. selfishness takes, takes, takes and never gives. when we are selfish it is easier to commit sin because sins are ultimately all self serving! as a girl trying to overcome the "Natural Man" i do pretty good with the reading of scriptures, going to church, praying, etc. but i am selfish. perhaps this is because as a university student almost everything we do is for ourselves, or maybe it's just because it's easier to be selfish. but right then and there i decided to work on being more selfless. 

doesn't that lesson sound just amazing? don't stop reading though- it gets better.

i went up afterwards to talk to Pres. Samuelin. i love the Samuelins! i literally want to be them someday. as i talked to Pres. Samuelin, he looked into my eyes, and spoke things that i needed to hear. i didn't have to tell him everything that i am struggling with right now, i didn't have to say anything. he just spoke. words of comfort. words of wisdom. and i knew, i know, that he is a man inspired of God. i know that God knew that last night i, Rebekah Arnesen, needed to hear some things and i needed to know i that i was loved for individually, that God knows me, and that He has a plan for me.

i walked out, near tears, and speechless. something sacred happened back there. a feeling i cannot forget. and it was like a filter was taken off my eyes and i saw things in a better light- more happy.

later that evening as i drove down the canyon, singing songs and feeling the summer air on my skin, i remembered that this is what life is all about. finding happiness. being happy.

trials, problems and heartaches don't necessarily go away. but anger, frustration, impatience, and selfishness, those are things we can control and eliminate. i am so grateful for that reminder. 

here is to the rest of the summer. being happy. having adventures. and perfecting myself.

this is me and my Grandma Arnesen on my blessing day!