09 November 2012


*don't worry , there is a picture in this post! keep reading!

you know when you get done with your studying faster than you planned on? and it's friday night and so you really don't feel like studying anymore? and it's snowing out so you can't go running or you will freeeeeze? but, you are avoiding going home because then you have be social, and be around treats and unhealthy food, and possibly not sleep, and probably talk about boys. and you just don't feel up to it.

that's me tonight. i got done with group therapy and then did the homework i needed to do, and even some extras! but i'm still in the library, in my little cave called the first floor. listening to He is We, Joshua Radin, Alicia Keys, and Blake Shelton.

i caught up reading all my blogs today. (and by "caught up" i mean that i read the posts that looked interesting slash funny.) yeah, i'm a major slacker and i don't expect it to get better anytime soon. i mean what do you want me to post about? how we learned about the renal system in pathophysiology this week and Brock and i decided that although the kidney is very important it's definitely the most boring organ to talk about. or i complain about the snow and how i hate the cold and how my feet got wet because boots are already leaky. or i could tell you about how i pretty much would live off goldfish crackers if that were possible. i guess you knew that already. . .

i've been working on overcoming fears and facing scary situations this week. it wasn't actually intentional. but it's turned out that way. it's been. . . good. they say that whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger. i'm not dead yet. and i want so badly to be fearless.

sometimes i wish things could just go back to the way they were. like the perfect day, if i could go back to it, would be september 28. or october 4. but you can't go back. you just keep moving forward. 

i've been delaying posting about this, buuuut (duh duh duh) i'm doing the 21 Day No Junk Food Challenge again! i didn't post about it when i started last thursday because if i totally failed i didn't want ya'll to know and secretly judge me. but i'm more than a week in and i have not caved- even though i have been sorely tempted! this is a big reason i don't want to go home tonight because there is going to be mountains of delicious treats, found on pinterest, made by girls in my ward, and i don't know if i can control myself. i guess i should go and prove to myself that i can. i will post more about this after it's ended (it ends on Thanksgiving).

this week has been so emotional. what with family health problems, heavy tests, and the usual dating stuff. you know.... and if you don't. well you can ask. i'd rather not talk about it on my blog. but yesterday i was so worn down and stressed. i couldn't concentrate on anything. i was worried. i was lonely. i wished for things to change. i just wanted a quick fix. but i didn't get that. i just had to go face stuff. buck up. and i did. and i'm proud of that.

i really can't delay going home for much longer. i've run out of things to look at on pinterest. and facebook is a bore. so please, if you made it to the end of this post and actually read all of it, comment below, and then go get yourself some ice cream, oreos, pizza, brownies, or french fries. and eat them for me. kthanks bye.
*basically i also miss this. and these kiddos. and also because i think posts without pictures are very boring.

ps. if you have noticed i have mentioned therapy a couple times in a few posts recently. don't worry guys, i will tell you the story behind that. just not now.


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  2. This is such a sad post. I hate nights like that. They're the worst. But eventually they start getting better. Something one of my friends told me yesterday that kinda helped was when one door closes another opens, but it sucks being in the hallway. But eventually it gets better. :) It made me laugh and feel a little less angry/frustrated/sad about my situation. I hope it does for you as well. Way to go for doing the no junk food challenge again. That's awesome. And I'd have to disagree with you about the kidneys being boring. They're like my favorite organ to learn about ;)