at the conclusion of national eating disorder awareness week, i want to share some of my personal experiences. none of this is scientifically proven, it is based off my own experiences and insights.
this is why i don't believe in scales, or in weighing myself.
there was a time when i weighed myself twice a day. once in the morning and once at night. i wasn't obsessed about my weight, but i didn't want to gain. i wanted to stay at 100 pounds. luckily, my obsession about weight never turned into anything more. i don't know how or when i realized it, but one day i woke up and realized that i hadn't weighed myself in a while. i didn't know how much i weighed! and i really didn't care. as i've gotten older i have weighed myself less and less. i don't own a scale and i honestly worry that if i did that i would become an "obsessive weigh-er" again. as i see girls weigh themselves i see myself in them, and i worry. when did we place so much value on a number that really is quite meaningless? especially when we, for the most part are at a healthy weight and shouldn't worry about it?
in high school i was always a size 1 jean size. i liked the fact that i was the smallest size in the store. it was awesome. somewhere in the two years after i graduated high school, i filled out. it's not that i got fat, because i'm not fat. but my body changed, and suddenly i wasn't a size 1 anymore. i avoided buying pants because i thought i was going to be huge. i didn't know what size i was anymore and was scared of being bigger than a size 1. finally one day i got some pants that actually fit, and surprise! they weren't huge, they made me feel good. and i've learned something valuable. it doesn't really matter what size of pant you wear. or what dress size you are. or your bra size. what matters, is that you embrace your body, no matter the perceived imperfections.
the truth is, we are never going to be as perfect as the media portrays women to be. [newsflash: that's 95% photo shop. just sayin.] we are beautiful daughters of God! we are worth SO much more than that little number on the scale. or the number on the tag of our clothes. no, this isn't a call for everyone to go out and only never eat healthy or exercise again. this isn't saying we should not take care of our bodies. because we should. but remember that it's ok to be a size 4. and it's ok to weigh more than you did in high school. it's ok to have a piece of pizza for dinner and not feel guilty about it. and it's ok if you miss a day of exercising because you were too busy studying or you had a friend who needed your help. there are things that are more important than being the smallest person.
"Let’s (quite literally) have our cake and eat it, too. Let’s savor the cake and the kale. Let’s get more exercise by dancing more with friends. Let’s love our bodies because they’re ours, because they’re a gift, and not have our self approval depend on how well they meet some totally arbitrary societal standard."
let's take the challenge.
be the cake eaters. the dancers. the scale smashers. the lovers.
will you join me?