i'm taking a leave of absence for the next little while. you see, it's not that i don't like you, i do, the timing is just all wrong. i'm just out of good byes. something has come up- it's called school. and caring about myself. call me selfish. tell me i'm never going to get married. deal with it. this isn't about you- it's about me. i need to do well in school. i need to explore. i need to live life to the fullest. i need to run. i need to start doing the things i really love. i need to be me and not care about what anyone thinks or about which young man i am trying to impress at the moment. it's not that i'm giving up. i'm not.
for the one man who will prove me wrong. for the man who will treat me like i deserve and will make me feel like the most important person on the planet. for the kind of love that ron and hermione have. the love that comes from true friendship and that works together to defeat evil. that love that makes you feel giddy, not nervous. for peace, not fear. for the jim and pam kind of love. the best friend kind of love. for the man who will chase me no matter where i feel like going, and who will be able to convince that his love is greater than any crazy scheme i can think of to escape. for the mr. darcy and elizabeth bennett kind of love. for the love that i see in my grandparents and my parents. for the love that brings me, and him, closer to God.
so please forgive me while i take this short sabbatical.
because i don't have time to waste going on pointless dates with flakey, non-committal guys. or guys who think they are god's gift to women. or even for guys who just don't know what they want. you can say i'm giving up. you can judge me all you want (although if you do then you will go to hell.... just saying). my best friends may be married, but it's not for me right now. i want what they have, and it's obvious i'm not finding it right now.
so, unless there is a miracle, i will take a short hiatus from any type of dating. because it's kind of a joke. and it's kind of ridiculous. there are angry and sad things i want to say. as well as sappy and cheesy things. i will spare you. please, please, please, don't try to force me to date. i don't want blind dates. i don't want any dates. i just want some good friends, harry potter, school, and running. after all, when God is on my side, i know i will win.
much love [not],
ps. and NO i'm not going on a mission- so don't ask!